I saw Steve Sir’s critique of my guard-dog skills. Please allow me to address that separately. First, I want to say what it is like to be a Camp Dog and Camp Champions.

I’ve got to be honest - This is one sweet gig.

My job? Be cute, loving, unthreatening and willing to embrace humiliating costumes.

In exchange, I play, eat, and absorb love.

Like I said, one sweet gig.

I remain unsure why Susie Ma’am and Steve Sir seem so intent on the costumes, but it seems to make them happy. I think they may be simple minded, but they are cute.

A proud dog might resent the humiliation, but I think that these humans need my sacrifice. Sure, I worry that other dogs will see these photos, but I hold firm to my belief that their lack of opposable thumbs will limit their Instagram usage.

Also, I am not sure other dogs are old enough for social media – so there’s that.

With that comfort, I will continue to bring joy as best I can – one embarrassing outfit at a time.

Here are some of the “greatest hits”.

Looking back, this is an odd legacy. But these antics have led to some fans. Here is a camper from last week who brought a stuffed animal of me from Kneeman Marcus to her day camp show and tell. (my likeness is a best seller in the camp store.) I do love my fans. Beyonce – eat your heart out.

OK, now please let me refute Steve Sir’s suggestion that I am not keeping the family safe by barking and baying at boats on Lake LBJ.

To him, I have but one question:

“How many boats have successfully crossed the 600 feet of land to invade our home?”

None. Absolutely zero. Zippo.

What more proof do you need?

Dodger Ma’am

PS OK, maybe a shake when I see squirrels. Some of these squirrels are scary, I’m not going to lie . . .